Something From Nothing

By N*V*ER

Jim Ellison took a sip of the wine and stared into the eyes of the beautiful blonde woman sitting across from him.  Hers were green,
gorgeous,  but they weren't what he wanted. . .what he longed for. What was it?

She was tall, beautiful in face and form, intellectually stimulating...he assumed she'd be a fabulous lover, but he hadn't been able to bring
himself to find out.  Something was missing with Andrea.  It was empty.Lacking.  There was nothing there.  He ached for something. . .What was
it?

"Jim, just say it."

"Say what?" he asked quietly.

Green eyes searched pale blue.  There was nothing there for her.  She hated to admit it.  Ellison was handsome, with a body to kill for, but
there was something missing in this relationship.  There was no relationship.  "Say it.  We aren't going anywhere.  Say it's over.   No,
you can't say that, because it never really started. did it?"
     

"No."  There was nothing to get over.   There had been nothing there to begin with. Andrea was right.  "I'm sorry."  It was the appropriate thing
to say but it sounded as hollow as their time together had been.
   

She put her hand over his.  "I hope you figure out whatever it is you're looking for.  I hope you figure out what it is you want!"
   

"Yeah," he muttered, unable to meet her eyes. "Yeah.  So do I."

Ellison could hear the gentle clicking of the laptop keyboard as soon as he stepped out of the elevator.  Blair was home, obviously working
hard on something.  Jim felt his spirits lift as he opened the door.  He saw the back of Sandburg's head, long curls brushing the back of his collar.  The
man had gorgeous hair.

Gorgeous hair?  /Ellison!  Get a grip!/  he thought.   It hadn't been that long since he'd been with a woman!  Had it?

"Hey, Jim," Sandburg greeted without looking up from his lecture notes.

"You're home early."

"Yeah.  Andrea and I called it off."

Blair stopped typing. He took off his glasses and stared at his roommate.  "Oh?"

"Yeah."  Jim walked into the kitchen and pulled out a couple of beers. "It wasn't going anywhere.  She deserves better."

Blair sat in the leather chair and tried to read something in the man's face.  It was as unreadable as usual.  "Andrea is one pretty lady, Jim, just your type.  I mean, female and breathing. . ." Not a smile.  Not even a grimace.  "What happened?"

"Nothing."  Jim sipped his beer and stared out the windows to the cityscape in the background. "Nothing happened. No sparks.  No emotional involvement.  No connection at all. Nothing."

"Ouch!" Blair studied Jim as he sipped on his own beer. What was going on? Ellison was an incredibly handsome man, with an incredibly muscular, buff body.  If he were a woman, he'd be all over the man.  Ellison usually responded with similar enthusiasm when pounced upon by the fairer sex. ..but lately. . .Was Jim depressed about something?  "Anything you want to talk about?"

"No, Chief."  Ellison stood up and stretched, downing half a bottle of the beer. "Nothing to talk about."

"But Jim. . ."

"There's nothing, Blair.  Nothing. . ."

Blair considered protesting his friend's decision to clam up, but knew from past experience that Jim wouldn't talk until he was ready and maybe not even then.  "All I can say is that Andrea must not be the one for you."

"Obviously."  Jim sighed, glancing at his partner.   Blair thought he was upset about Andrea.  He wasn't.  He was concerned about the lack of upset. . .the nothing seemed to be taking over his entire life. "Good night, Chief.  I'll see you in the morning.  Don't wake me up early.  It's a Saturday of freedom and I plan on enjoying it to the fullest."  He started up the stairs to the loft bedroom.  "Just keep it down."
  

Sandburg toyed with the idea of blurting out that he'd been waiting for Jim to head to bed to crank up the stereo but decided being a brat could wait for another evening. "Hey, Jim."

"What?"  Jim asked curtly.

"Sleep well, man."

Jim paused on the stairs.  He turned to glance at Blair.   "Thanks, Blair.  You, too."

Sandburg took a strong pull on his beer.  Ellison was being. . .nice?  He'd called him by his first name more than once, and he wasn't even bleeding.  Weird stuff was going on in that man's head!

Jim looked across the table at Andrea, staring into her green eyes, which gradually changed to blue.  A clear, dark blue, open to the soul.  Blair's eyes.  Her blonde hair began to change: it darkened, grew, became a riot of curls. . .Blair's hair. The mouth became Blair's mouth, with those full, sensual lips. . .

Ellison woke up enough to realize that he had been thoroughly aroused by that dream.  He hadn't felt so turned on in weeks. . .months. . .and it took an image of Blair to do it?  He decided to argue the point with himself another time.  He was enough of a hedonist to want to explore the physical sensations the dream had given him.

Blair was usually in charge of cooking breakfast and was really surprised to discover Ellison cooking eggs, bacon, and hash browns when he got up. "What's going on?"  he joked. "Who are you and where is my real roommate?"

"Har har," Ellison commented.  "Sit down.   I know I don't do breakfast very often.  Enjoy it while you can, kid."  Jim picked up a plate and dished up food for Blair.  He handed it to him and joined him at the table.

"I'll let you do the dishes."

"What a guy.  Not bad, Ellison.  You cook better than I do, y'know."

Jim found it difficult to concentrate on his own food.  This was too similar to the crazy dream he'd had for comfort.  He was focused on Blair's hair, his eyes, his mouth. . .those lips, those kissable lips.

Ellison put his napkin down and stood up.  Kissable lips?  /Ellison!   This is Sandburg.  A guy.  Your Guide./ he frantically thought. /Get a hold of yourself man!/

"What is it, Jim?"

"Nothing."  Jim picked up his jacket and stood at the door.  He wanted to leave.  He wanted to stay.  He wanted. . .what?

"Don't lie to me, man.  It's something and you know it. What?"

Ellison ignored Blair's question and put on his jacket.  He needed to get out for awhile.

Blair wouldn't let it drop.  "Are you afraid to tell me?"

"Afraid?"   Pale blue eyes met darker blue and Ellison felt something, but it wasn't fear.  Not exactly.  It was . . .desire?  "Leave me alone, Sigmond, will you? You might not like the secrets you're so hell bent on discovering!"  He walked out.

Sandburg went to the door.  "Good move, Ellison.   Storm out just when you discover you have secrets!  Walking out isn't going to solve anything."

Blair slammed the door shut and fumed.  What was wrong with Jim lately?

He had walls up bigger than the Great Wall of China!  Until he could admit there was something going on, it wouldn't do any good to bug him about it.  Besides, how often did he get a chance to eat breakfast cooked by someone else?

Sandburg felt strong hands on his shoulders, turning him around.   He stood face to chest with Ellison, suddenly aware that Ellison had his shirt off.  His muscles rippled, and Blair felt his breath leave him.  He looked up into Jim's eyes, feeling himself drawn in.  He felt his heart race.  Jim's face moved toward his, and Blair's hands reached up to touch his Sentinel's lips.

Sandburg woke up with a start.  Man.  Where did that come from?

Ellison knew that Sandburg was in his bedroom, asleep, when he came in.

It was nearly midnight, after all.  He had confronted some demons and was ready to talk to Blair. . .and he was sound asleep.  Jim stood in the doorway of  his Guide's bedroom, watching the youthful, handsome face relaxed in sleep.  He felt an overpowering urge to touch that face, tell him the truths he'd discovered about himself and what it was he wanted.  Jim slowly walked into the bedroom and stood over Blair.

Sandburg had gradually become a part of his life, sliding into his heart,    becoming the most important person to him in the world.  No wonder he couldn't give his heart to Andrea.  Blair already had it.  He'd had it for a long time now.  When you loved someone the way he loved Blair it seemed only natural to want to express that love in a physical way.  He'd never given it a second thought with a woman. . .but this was different.  Or was it?  Love was love, wasn't it?  Making love was just that, a physical expression of an emotional state.  He loved Blair. .  .it was no real surprise that he wanted him in every way.

Sandburg sighed, and opened his eyes.  A few seconds later, he opened them again.  "Hey, Jim.  Are you real?"

"Yeah."  He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Real.  Why?"

"I've been having weird dreams, man.  Really. . .bizarre."

Jim reached out and brushed a strand of curly hair out of Blair's sleepy eyes. "How bizarre?" he asked quietly.

"Well. . ." He chuckled softly. "You and me. . ."

Jim's heart quickened.  "You and me. . .what. . .Blair?"

Blair and Jim's eyes met and opened to each other, soul to soul   Blair shivered just a bit.  "You and me. . .together."  He hesitated. "Lovers, Jim."

" Lovers."  Jim nodded.  He caressed Blair's cheek.  "Like this?"  He moved down to Blair's face and gently brushed his lips to his.

"Yeah,"  Blair said huskily. "Only. . .more."  He raised himself up and kissed Jim.  Their mouths opened for each other and tongues explored. Hands began to roam and Jim sighed.

"This is what I wanted.  You're the something I've been looking for, Blair."  They relaxed in each other's arms, gradually becoming more comfortable with each other in this strange, new world opening before them.

"I love you, Chief.  That's what I've been looking for."

Blair sighed in Jim's arms.  "That works out to be pretty damn convenient, Jim.  Because I love you, too, man."

The two held each other for a long time before their bodies decided it was time to continue the physical expression of love they had begun.

It had started as nothing, then a friendship coupled with companionship and admiration, then the biggest something they could ever have imagined.  Love.