Title:   First Times
Author/pseudonym: Melrae
Email address:  melrae@hotmail.com
Rating:  PG
Pairings: J/B

Status: NEW
Date: December 5, 1997
Archive: YES both Michelle and Merry
Archive author: Melrae
Archive email address: melrae@hotmail.com
Series/Sequel: None
Other website: http://members.tripod.com/~Melrae

Disclaimers: We all know this right? I don't entertain any claims on the
guys. I just want to use them for a bit. I'll try to return them in a happier
mood. They belong to Pet Fly.

Notes: This is my response to Taya's First-time challenge. I'm surprised at
how fast I turned this out. I'm normally slower than a snail when it comes
to writing.

Summary: Jim decides to take a step. Will he fall?

Warnings: None

Thanks: To Tanya, and Lucy for beta reading this so fast, and taking out
the prodding sticks to get me to post it. *grin*

~~~~~~
First Times
~~~~~~


[Jim's Thoughts]

I sat in his office waiting for him. I wasn't sure how he would handle what
I was about to tell him. I knew how I wanted him to deal with it. This
elusive spirit that has decided to grace my life with his light is as
unpredictable and skittish in matters of the heart as I am. My marriage
proved to me that not everything is picture perfect.

I so want to believe that what I feel for Blair is more than that. We've lived
together for two years now. I can't remember a time when I wasn't
thinking what if. What if he told me that he loved me first? What if he
moved out? That was my biggest fear. I know at times I took out my fear
out on him, like when I'd get mad at him for leaving his projects laying
around or when he'd almost start a fire in the toaster.  I'm surprised that
he stayed. Instead, he called me on it. I think the first time he did that
was when I knew that I'd love him forever, and wouldn't let him leave.

When I think back at how we started out and where we are now I wonder
if there isn't someone out there pulling the strings. Blair isn't someone
that I would have taken the time to get to know before this Sentinel thing.
Hell, I threatened to search his office for drugs. How else can you explain
the fact that I've let him get closer to me than I've ever let anyone. It was
like once he moved into the loft he also moved further into my heart.
Now I had to tell him before I accidentally drive him away. I had to tell
him that I love him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jim stood up and began to pace. Waiting to take either the biggest step in
his life, or make the biggest mistake and say goodbye to Blair forever.
Then Jim heard Blair's heartbeat coming closer, thankfully alone, none of
the cute coeds hanging on his every word.

Jim took a deep breath, 'now or never' he thought as he opened the door
just as Blair walked up. Jim took Blair's backpack, books and papers; and
set them on the desk.

Jim held Blair by his upper arms and gently walked both of them to the
wall.

"Blair, I love you. I've wanted to say it for a while. I'll understand if you
don't feel the same way. I hope you do though." Jim said as he lowered
his mouth to Blair's for their first kiss. As their lips gently touched Jim felt
Blair's lips accept the kiss and return it with exuberance. Increasing the
intensity and the passion of the kiss, Jim let go of Blair's arms to allow
him to caress Jim's body.

When they ended the kiss Jim looked into Blair's eyes and Jim realized
that he hadn't made the biggest mistake of his life but had taken his
biggest step towards a much more rewarding life.

The End

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